To my little boys ...

I have not forgotten about you two.  It seems like forever ago when I got all nostalgic about raising a little girl, but trust me, you two little ones have never escaped my mind.  Perhaps it is because one of you is always within an arms reach of me, or earshot ... but I am more inclined to think it is because of the huge responsibility I feel, being your mom, to raise you and watch you grow into true men.  There are many ideas floating around of what a true man is, but many of them are wrong.  There are many ideas floating around of how a true man behaves, but many of those are also wrong.  There are many ideas floating around of how a true man speaks and carries himself, but again, so many of those are wrong.   Dear little boys, this is what a true man is ...

A true man lives up to his name:

who is like the LORD and he has heard; those are powerful, and have significant meanings, take time to grow into them and humbly live them out.

A true man is full of gentle strength:

he does not trample over people, but picks those up who have fallen

and bears their burdens with them.

A true man is a humble servant:

he does not seek praise for his work, but quietly goes about his life

honoring God by doing the right thing in both public and private. He is not too good for the most humbling tasks: laundry, dishes, and diaper changes.

A true man sees a woman as a companion and treasure,

not a prize to be won, or trophy to be demeaningly displayed

amongst other men.   A woman is not yours, she is God's; but she is yours to empower, encourage, and to love.

A true man does not stay silent.

When injustice is happening, get up and fight for the those less fortunate. 

Be passionate about justice, seek after it with your whole heart.

A true man recognizes true beauty,

and knows it does not come in a certain number or color. 

Yes, beauty is very much seen in the physical, but a true man

recognizes that true spiritual beauty will far outlast any trend, style or perfect body type.

A true man brings wholeness to the people around him.

He does not start conflict, or hurt others with his words.  

My dear little boys, grow up and be true men, who's strength and dignity come from something greater than yourself.  And because I want your wives to like me some day ... don't forget to put the bathroom seat down, to empty your pockets before you put things in the laundry, and learn to cook ... every woman likes a man who can cook :)

    

Dear Little Three ...

You are turning one soon.  I know this is cliche, but I really can't believe how fast this year went.   I have felt this overwhelming burden to teach you everything, to protect you from everything, to foresee everything for you.   I don't know ... maybe it the mother-daughter thing, but it is a different feeling than what I experience with your brothers.   There is a bond we share, even now ... this early, because we are both women.  So here are things I want to pass on to you.   Here are things I want you to remember, things I want you to believe deep inside your heart:

Your name means lovable life, 

we gave you that name on purpose ... your life is special, invaluable and God given.

You are beautiful, 

it is not vain to highlight your exterior beauty, but I pray it is only a reflection of what is inside of you.

You are more than your body,

it is a valuable temple, do not loan it out or share it with a man who thinks more of himself than he does of you.

You are brillant,

God will give you passions; pursue them endlessly. He will never give you gifts or talents and then say you cannot fulfill them for His honor.  I pray you will never experience the pain of being told no because you are female, but if you do, be gracious to them and know that we are hurting with you.

You have been given much,

do not waste it.  Be generous: in wealth, in love, and in forgiveness.  You will never regret apologizing or seeking resolution and healing. Shalom is more than peace ... strive for it with your whole being.

You will experience pain and loss, 

but I pray healing will follow, and at the end of it that your heart will be able to say: blessed be the name of the LORD.

Embrace your femininity, 

both the strengths and weaknesses.  Humbly accept help when it is offered, but know, deep inside, you are fully capable on your own.

Always find your worth and security in God,

no man can meet all your needs or protect you from everything.

Leave him if he thinks he can.

Always remember,

your father and I love you more than you can imagine.  We will fight, we will disagree, but nothing can diminish our love for you and your brothers.

Love, Mom

 P.S. Stay away from fashion magazines,

they are fake, and don't worry about getting your dresses dirty or your pigtails disheveled ... there is beauty in imperfection.

              

 

Welcome Little 3

I've taken a rather long hiatus from the blogging world recently, but I would love to introduce you to my very good reason ... This is Little Three!

I haven't decided yet if she is going to be a super girlie girl or one big tomboy, but with two big brothers I'm pretty sure she will spend many hours with trains, cars and mud!  She's got big blue eyes that squint real small when she's excited to see me, and this little button nose that I just can't get enough of. 

And her smile.  I just love her smile.  It takes up her whole face and body ... even her arms get squished up close to her cheeks because she can't contain her joy!  She's gonna be a daddy's girl ... I just know it.  She's got two big brothers who just smother her with love ... what a lucky little one.   She's our little 'lovable life'.  Welcome to the world Little Three ... we are so glad you are part of our family!

Parenting Lesson 101

I should have known this morning, when Little Two woke up, that this was not going to be one of his better days.   I should have known since it is not one of his better days taking him, and Little Three, on errands right before picking up Little One and lunch was also not the smartest of ideas, but no, I decided to do it anyways.  After all, what could really go wrong? My little ones are kept on a tight leash: tantrums, throwing things, screaming, hitting are not acceptable in our home.   Although I'm pretty sure the customers at Target would not believe me if I told them that ...

Tuesdays and Thursdays are typically my errand mornings while Little One is at school.  Makes sense right?  Only lugging 2 little ones around, instead of 3, all under the age of 5? But did I mention those said 2 little ones are under the age of 2?  I think that going out in public with two under two would fall under the category of bad decisions due to sleep deprivation ... anyways ... 

The morning started off with battles: changing Little Two's diaper involved kicking, screaming, a stern 'no' and swift swat on the thigh ... you know ... just to show him who's boss.  Breakfast involved multiple spoons, because he has to have one in each hand (and I need one to get the food in his mouth - yes, that's 3 spoons to feed one little one, you counted right), screaming and thrashing over a peeled banana (thank goodness for high chairs with straps!) ... sorry Little Two, but bananas do not taste good with the peel on them ... and when they break in half they don't go back together.  Last, but definitely not least, getting dressed ... I'm not even going to go there.   Lets just say before 9 o'clock this morning Little Two had received numerous forms of discipline, but don't worry I still thought it was a good idea to take him out in public.

So we arrive at Target.  The drive there was surprisingly uneventful: he held my hand while walking to the car and no 'bending steal' to get him into the carseat.  Victory!  But that is where said victory ended.  No sooner had I gotten both little ones into the cart, strapped down, and into the store when Little Two decided he did not want to be sitting in the front.  No, he needed to be pushing the cart.   After multiple attempts to discipline/distract him, I gave into the screaming and temper tantrum and held him with one arm while I pushed the cart (despite his desperate attempts to push the cart himself).   At this point people are starring.  I'm hiding in aisles where no one is, and contemplating which would take longer: going through check out or trying to put everything back (that I've quite skillfully tucked into the cart around the infant seat and diaper bag).   

After what seemed to be an eternity, but was actually probably my shortest time spent in Target EVER, we made it out of the store and back into the car where the screaming and tantrums continued.  At this point I'm mortified at the looks and stares from the people in the store, and just plain old pissed at Little Two.   At first I'm thinking, 'how dare he disobey me like that ... and IN PUBLIC!' ... and then I realize what I had been given ... a heaping dose of humility.    There was nothing that was going to calm this little one down in the store, and it was not the result of bad, or lack of, parenting.   It just was.  It was inappropriate.  It was the terrible twos. It was wrong.  It was mortifying, but it was also a very good lesson in parenting: humility. 

Yes the picture above is from the continuing tantrum in the car .   After stopping to get gas on my way to pick up Little One the whole situation  took on a much more humorous note ... 

September 15

Age four has proved to be a difficult one for myself and Little One.  Why ... How come ... but mom ... He is getting smarter.   He is learning at a rate I am having difficulty keeping up with.   He is a thinker, articulate, but mostly inquisitive.  Today he asked me why we can't see God.

After seven years of biblical and theological training you would think I had a good answer to this question. After all, I knew something like it was coming ... this little one's mind is way beyond his years.   So like any good Bible student I went into how God is a spirit.  How God is everywhere.   How God lives within our hearts when we believe in who He is and who His son is.   Little One listened, but he wasn't buying it. So he asked me again, 'Why can't I see God mommy?'.  At a loss for words I went for the honest approach ... 'I don't know.   I don't understand God, Little One.' 

All day his question and my answer have been eating at me, and when I looked at the calendar this evening I realized why.  It is almost September 15 ... 

For most of us 9/11 is a stormy cloud that hovers over this week.  We remember where we were, what we were doing, who we were with, and how we felt when we heard the news.  I am no different, however, there is a darker cloud hovering over my heart this week.   Eleven years ago I lost my friend.   I lost my mentor.   I lost my voice of sanity during a difficult time.  For eleven years I have sought a way to describe what I lost on that day; but today, Little One's question gave me words to describe it.  I lost a picture and influence of God in my life.    No my friend was not God, nor would he want to be thought of like that, but he reflected God's spirit at a time in my life when I desperately needed it.  

It's ironic I think ... that at that precise moment in my life where God seemed the furthest ... that in the midst of doubting His goodness, His love, His mercy and justice, He would take away the one thing that kept me interested in it: my friend.   Then I think about that more, and realize it's actually not that ironic.   What better way to "see" God than to experience Him, but we can't experience Him when we think we see Him.   Humanity clouds the perfect picture that He is ... like those mirrors you see at carnivals that distort your image.  We are created in His image, but are not a perfect representation. 

Tomorrow, if Little One asks again, I will tell him God is meant to be experienced not seen.   God is meant to be encountered not touched.  God is meant to be and co-exist within us.  Perhaps I will come up with more age appropriate language for a four year old, but while I am chatting with him I will be thinking and missing my friend.  I will be remembering his side hugs, shoulder squeezes, and how he used to call me ... little one.  Most importantly, I will be remembering my experience of God because of his life, and even more so because of his death. SHBSY